The Women Managers’ Convention 2024 had session on the theme, ‘Like a Boss.’ The session saw a lively interaction between Ms. Bharathi Baskar, Motivational Speaker and Ms. Ekta Kumar, Columnist & Artist.
Bharathi Baskar:
I am going to cover three key aspects in my talk: firstly, embracing a growth mindset; secondly, overcoming imposter syndrome; and thirdly, having career goals beyond job objectives.
On the eve of Women’s Day, some people forwarded me a picture of a woman with eight hands, each carrying a feeding bottle, a laptop, a ladle, and so on. It had the caption ‘Superwoman.’ The fact is, I have only two hands, and I can only do what I can. I am first a human being; I also happen to be a woman. I can make mistakes. Allow me to fall down sometimes so that I can get up and move on. But the moment you call me a superwoman, anxiety fills my mind that my house cannot have any cockroaches or my husband’s shirt collar cannot have any stains.
I want to sit back, relax, and enjoy, telling myself that I’ll do things. I have my own maternal instinct. I’ll try to do everything as much as possible. But I’m not going to be perfect. Don’t call me superhuman, because I’m not. Don’t call me super wife because I’m not going to be doing everything in the house; my husband has to share. Don’t call me super mom, because it’s not solely my responsibility to make my work the best in life or in the class. I try. But allow me to fail.
Growth Mindset: The Story of Annalakshmi
We must embrace a growth mindset. At least 10 or 15 men or women have been my mentors. I had the privilege of working with Ajay Banga on his team in Chennai before he moved to the US. While I was not directly in his reporting line, we were part of the same organization.
Now, let me tell you about an unusual character. It was the period just after Covid when we were all returning to work. I live in Gopalapuram on a street called ‘Avvai Shanmugam Salai’ in Chennai. There, a woman named ‘Annalakshmi’ sets up her makeshift idli shop very close to my house. She arrives every day at about 7:30 am, prepares and serves idlis, and finishes around 9:30 am. This is her routine. She arrives in a vehicle attached to a cycle with four wheels, pedalling it herself and bringing her physically challenged husband along. As soon as she arrives, she starts making idlis, typically 25 to 30 in each batch, made on a large plate. She makes it very clear who is the boss of the shop, commanding her husband to serve chutney and sambar to the customers.
Her customers start coming and apart from them, about ten or fifteen men stand near her. She tells each one of them, “You owe me 117 rupees, you owe me 210 rupees and you owe me 67 rupees 50 paisa. Unless you give it to me, I’m not going to give you idlis today. So run away or I’ll throw hot water on you.” It seems that they are her customers who are not able to pay, for whatever reasons. Seeing her threatening them, we get scared.
She gets busy with the customers who pay her. But the men who are threatened by her do not move an inch and they stand their ground. She makes the last batch of idlis for her. Now she calls the men who are standing there and serves them 4, 5 or 6 idlis, knowing well how much each one will eat. She now adds the cost of idlis served on the day to their already pending dues and tells them, “Tomorrow, if you don’t pay, I will throw hot water on you.” She serves her husband and whatever is left after all this, she eats for herself. Then she lifts her physically challenged husband and places him in the vehicle and starts pedalling to her home. I have seen this happen every day and though she threatens, she never throws hot water on anyone. What struck me in this story is the caption written on her vehicle, that says, “Owner: Annalakshmi.’
Lessons from Annalakshmi
There are numerous lessons I gleaned from her story. She unabashedly asserts herself as the boss of her establishment. Every day, as she passes by my house, if she spots me, she doesn’t request a selfie or mention seeing me on ‘Sun TV.’ Instead, aware of my banking background, she calls out, “Please help me get a loan from your bank so I can expand my business.” Regrettably, my bank couldn’t accommodate her profile, though we attempted to assist in any way possible. Still, she persisted in asking. Annalakshmi, to me, embodies a growth mindset. Running a street idli shop in Chennai is no easy feat, yet she adeptly manages it and asserts control over her domain. She has a knack for mental math and accurately tracks how much each customer owes her. Yet, she willingly provides idlis to certain customers daily, fully aware they may never repay her. She does so as part of her societal responsibility. While I’ve drawn inspiration from the stories of Indra Nooyi and Sheryl Sandberg, Annalakshmi has also imparted valuable lessons to me.
Imposter Syndrome
While it’s commonly asserted that women suffer from imposter syndrome, I hold a different perspective. I believe organizations employ this term to withhold from women what they rightfully deserve. I don’t think any woman truly doubts her worthiness of the position she has diligently worked to achieve. Over the past eighteen months since I departed from my bank, I’ve been traveling to tier 2 and tier 3 cities, even villages, engaging with school and college students. I’ve found that everyone, regardless of gender, harbours ambitions and a willingness to go the extra mile. They aspire to hold positions of power and significance, rejecting the submissive roles traditionally assigned to women by their mothers and grandmothers. The desire for progress is universal.
Imposter syndrome is a label imposed upon women. When a woman hesitates to accept an offer, we should delve deeper to uncover any organizational shortcomings. Questions should be raised: ‘Why was a talented woman, who was passionately driving a project, suddenly reassigned? Could there be instances of harassment?’ Organizations must address their biases rather than placing the burden on women to adapt. They need to provide support to women during challenging stages in their lives.
Career Goals Beyond Job Goals
Having job goals is crucial for personal and professional growth. It’s essential to connect these goals with your inner calling or overarching career path. I realigned my job goals to harmonize with my broader career trajectory. Becoming a mentor became one of my job goals, which seamlessly integrated with my career aspirations. While job goals hold significance, they can lead to frustration if they diverge from your career objectives. Unlike athletes who retire early, many of us may feel internally retired during a midlife crisis if our work doesn’t align with our passions. Finding fulfilment in your work translates to enjoying both your job and your career.
Top of Form
Ekta Kumar:
We all harbour stereotypes ingrained in our minds, rooted in years of social and cultural conditioning, making them challenging to shake off. Take, for instance, the title of this session: Hashtag Like a Boss. Upon first glance, despite my extensive work on gender issues, I must confess, my immediate association with the word ‘Boss’ was a man. It’s a shameful admission, but upon this realization, I immediately questioned myself, “What’s wrong with you? You’re about to deliver a speech on gender equality.” Perhaps, it’s not entirely my fault. Look around the corporate and political spheres, and you’ll find predominantly male bosses. They dominate various arenas, perpetuating this mindset. We must strive to change this narrative and alter mindsets.
So, how do we go about changing mindsets? We can implement policy reforms, enhance training programs, raise awareness, provide education, and start at the grassroots level. If you had to change just one thing about yourself to empower yourself as a leader, what would it be? It doesn’t have to be monumental; it could be a small, personal endeavour or experiment. But ask yourself, “What is holding me back?” We must seize positions of power, taking the lead to proclaim that we too will be bosses.
In the political realm, only 11 or 12% are women, yet they make policy decisions affecting 50% of the population. A similar scenario exists in the corporate world. During times of war, it’s often women and children who suffer the most, yet less than 3% of women sit at the negotiating table in the UN. In agriculture, where 75% of labourers are women, how many actually own the land they toil on? Opportunities are scarce, but the need is urgent. It’s incumbent upon us, as women, to embrace ambition and assertiveness. Merely complaining about equality isn’t enough. We must introspect: What is the one thing holding me back? What tool do I need to effect change? It’s imperative for all of us to step up and claim our seat at the table.
