The context for the Annual MMA Women Managers’ Convention was set by two speakers—Kartik V Kartikeyan and Dr Kanimozhi NVN Somu—who touched upon the factors influencing Indian masculinity, women’s empowerment, leadership challenges, and the importance of societal change.

The Good Boy Syndrome

Kartik V Kartikeyan, Executive Coach and Author

Every culture in India has its own version of the Good Boy. My research suggests that nearly 70% of Indian men would identify themselves this way. Why is this important?

I grew up in a household where I was really taught to be the “good boy.” When I started coaching and consulting, I noticed around me many men who could be called “good boys”—different names, different nuances, but all approximating the same phenomenon. Who is the Indian male? At one level, we could laugh about it, treat it lightly. But I believe this is a serious and complex phenomenon—not a syndrome in the medical sense, but a pattern of behaviour worth understanding.

Another perspective that deeply concerns me is the portrayal of men in India. The narrative of women has been extensively explored, researched, unpacked, and interrogated. However, there has been little inquiry into the experience of men. The Indian man is often portrayed as either a rapist, weakling, or nonentity—a characterisation that fails to capture the full depth of his lived experience.

For those of you already in leadership positions—or preparing to step into them—it is crucial to ask: Who is this individual? What is happening to him? If we can understand this, we can better engage with the workforce. Over 67% of the workforce consists of men. Women leaders make up around 18–19% of it. Women will interact with male peers, direct reports, colleagues, and stakeholders—so shouldn’t we be curious about them? Shouldn’t we unpack their experiences, interrogate their perspectives, and explore their inner landscapes?

Understanding the Indian Context

When I started examining what defines the Indian male experience, a few core themes emerged:

• Belonging-Centric Identity: The Indian male places immense importance on belonging—to his family, his workplace, and his community. We say “our house, our village, our town.” If he lacks a sense of belonging, his identity as a man is thrown into question.
• Shame Culture vs. Guilt Culture: Western cultures often operate on a guilt-based framework—if you commit a wrongdoing, you should feel guilty. In India, however, we have a shame culture, where pride and honour take precedence. Consider the deeply chilling yet culturally significant example of honour killings: A young man who kills his sister in the name of “honour” is, in his family’s eyes, actually being a good boy—upholding the family’s values, however tragic the act may be.
  Shouldn’t we ask ourselves—what are we doing? What has our society done to men?
• Patriarchy: India’s deeply patriarchal society perpetuates the “good boy” syndrome as part of its larger system. If we were to remove the good boy, patriarchy would stand on weakened legs. Alongside the good boy exists the good girl. 
• Reverence for Elders: In India, elders are not merely respected but revered. Crossing boundaries set by elders is seen as unacceptable.
• Group Identity & Stability: The Indian male prioritises stability and resists disruption. His reference point is the group—his family, his workplace, and the system he belongs to. Stability is a strong motivator, and he avoids disequilibrium at all costs.
• Colonised Mindset & Inferiority: Many Indian men carry an ingrained sense of inferiority—a mindset shaped by colonial history. There is a lingering belief that they are less than their Western counterparts, leading to a need to prove themselves.

The Three Types of Men in India

In my research, I identified three dominant archetypes:

• The Good Boy: He upholds the order; Belonging matters more than longing; He suppresses personal desires for the comfort of the system’s protection.
• The Self-Centric Boy: He prioritises personal desires and self-expression; He defies traditional norms to carve his own identity.
• The Ungood Boy: He embraces autonomy and intimacy openly; He seeks fulfillment without feeling beholden to societal structures.

Implications for the Workplace

In Indian corporates, the good boy exists everywhere. Look around—he might dress differently, speak differently, but if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find him.

As women leaders, what do you need to be aware of?

• Recognise the “good boy” syndrome. It is prevalent and deeply ingrained—ignoring it won’t make it disappear.
• Avoid stereotyping. Not all men fit neatly into one category—there are varying degrees of “good boys”.
• Encourage inclusive dialogue in workplaces. Corporate discussions often focus on DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), but why aren’t we discussing patriarchy?
• Amplify marginalised voices. Support LGBTQ+ employees, minorities.
• Understand that men may struggle with female authority. Some men fear strong female leaders, though they may not admit it. This can manifest in microaggressions or inappropriate behaviour.
• Identify allies and create space for “ungood boys.” They can bring diversity of thought and leadership approaches.
• Manage expectations. The change takes time. Patriarchy has existed for centuries. Transformation will take sustained effort.

The Power of Tangential Thinking

Dr Kanimozhi NVN Somu, Member of Parliament, Rajya Sabha

As a gynaecologist and a parliamentarian, the word ‘delivery’ is close to my heart—whether it is delivery of a baby or that of a speech. Throughout history, women have demonstrated ambitious performance, leaving an indelible mark across numerous disciplines through spectacular achievements. Women’s empowerment is a pivotal aspect of any society, state, or country. Education, in my honest opinion, is a crucial means for women’s empowerment and is essential for the socio-economic and political growth of our nation.

Women play a dominant and vital role in fundamental aspects of life. Women are often able to achieve so much because of our tangential thinking. Forgive me for saying this to the men in the hall, but this tangential thinking is often lacking in men. I feel that when a woman thinks tangentially, her mind encompasses making coffee, the children going to school, the news in the newspaper, whether the maid has arrived, what’s happening in the office, and the meeting schedule. I believe we are capable of managing all of that in a single day.

The absence of women in a man’s life, I believe, would be a very significant loss. By 10 or 11 o’clock, they might feel utterly exhausted. That tangential thinking truly carries us a long way, and I believe every woman born into this world possesses it. It is how we are shaped by education and how effectively we utilise the education provided to us by society that truly determines who we become.

Mothers: The Real Blessing

I believe everyone has been blessed with a strong mother. I can proudly say that who I am today is largely due to my mother. She was my rock, insisting that I attend an English medium school to learn the language and converse globally. That is undoubtedly a reason I stand here today. Furthermore, when I reached 11th and 12th grade, she encouraged me to pursue medicine and the science stream, believing that I would excel. She envisioned me as a doctor, but my father went a step further and expressed his wish for me to become a gynaecologist.

That is how I arrived at where I am today, although I initially wanted to be a paediatrician. However, I have no regrets because every day, when I witness a baby being delivered and bring new life into the world, the joy I see on the family’s faces is unparalleled. One department in the hospital that rarely experiences tears is the Obstetrics and Gynaecology department because we constantly celebrate birth, and we are often the first to share sweets. In that regard, I feel truly blessed.

Up for a Dual Role

A significant moment occurred in September 2021 when I established my own Thaaimai Hospital. After practicing for over 12 years at Apollo and more than seven years at Cloudnine Hospital, I desired to move away from the corporate structure and have my own centre. It was during that time that my hospital was born. I simply signed up and began the work. Simultaneously, I was also nominated as a Member of Parliament in the Rajya Sabha by the current Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu. It felt like a dilemma, as both roles are demanding and not easy, being public-oriented and requiring a strong public image on both platforms.

It was then that my mother wisely advised, “You are 50. Your two college-going children no longer require your constant attention; they are educated and independent. What else do you have in your life to pursue? Do both. It will be challenging, not a leisurely pursuit, but do both.” Indeed, it involves physical and mental exhaustion, but I still love doing both because I have no free time to dwell on anything else besides my professions. I believe that keeps me going strong, and I feel remarkably young, knowing I have meaningful work to do. It is better to keep active than to be idle.

Stay Away from Toxic Serials

I am very sorry to say this, and there may be some people who watch television serials, but I do not recommend them. If anyone present watches them, I kindly request you to reconsider. I find them to be among the most depressing forms of entertainment, as they often depict women being constantly tormented, rarely showing them overcoming their struggles. I don’t believe that is beneficial for us because we already have so much on our plates in life. We don’t need to witness such negativity on screen and then have tears in our eyes. Instead of that time, I suggest reading good books to expand your knowledge and improve your prospects in life. This is my sincere advice because time waits for no one; it continuously flies by. Utilize your time wisely. Today, this very minute, try to do something meaningful. Because when we leave this world, our actions will undoubtedly leave a lasting legacy and keep our names alive. That is what every woman in this world should strive to create.

The Power of Creating Life

We are all blessed with one extraordinary ability: delivering a baby, something men cannot do. We can bring life into this world, and we should be immensely proud of it. I sometimes feel this pride isn’t always acknowledged. It’s not merely about the number of children; it’s about the unique power women possess to bring life into existence. We are inherently endowed with extra powers by nature itself—the ability to deliver a baby, tangential thinking, multifaceted, energy, and resilience. Even after three or four deliveries, a woman’s physical and mental strength is tremendous. It is often the social constraints that hold us back. We should shed those social limitations and march forward towards entrepreneurship.