At an MMA session on 19 July 2025, authors Nirupama Subramanian and Rajesh Ramakrishnan joined Dr. Sathya Sriram to discuss The Nurturing Quotient and its relevance to modern leadership.
Dr Sathya Sriram
Independent Advisor & Former CEO, Preventive Health, Apollo Hospitals and Former Director – Strategic Initiatives, McKinsey & Company
Dr. Sathya Sriram: Nirupama and Rajesh, you’re not just co-authors of this book. You’re also partners in life. What inspired you to write The Nurturing Quotient?
Ms Nirupama Subramanian
Author & Founder and CEO, Powerfulife Solutions
Nirupama Subramanian: I’ve been a leadership coach, facilitator, and author for many years. Through my coaching sessions and interactions with leaders—especially in the post-COVID world—I started noticing a pattern. People kept bringing up what I call the three S’s: Stress, Struggle, and a Sense of Dissonance.
The first was stress. Many were working 14-hour days and feeling overwhelmed. The second was struggle—leaders were facing daily challenges as old models stopped working. With rapid change and a new generation in the workforce, especially Gen Z and millennials, the expectations from leadership had shifted dramatically.
The third was a deep dissonance between what people truly wanted to do and the pressures they faced in their roles. These recurring themes made us reflect, and that’s how the idea of the Nurturing Quotient was born.
Mr Rajesh Ramakrishnan
Author & Former Managing Director
Perfetti Van Melle India
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: When it comes to leadership, there are two aspects. The first is the “what”—mission, vision, strategy, and so on. That part can even be outsourced to consultants like McKinsey or BCG if needed.
But the real differentiator is the “how.” How do you bring your team along, how do you inspire them, and how do you deliver results together? That’s where good leaders are separated from great ones. The old command-and-control style no longer works. What we need today is a far more collaborative approach to leadership.
On a personal level, I’ve pursued passions like photography and yoga, each of which has nurtured me in different ways. So the concept of the Nurturing Quotient was shaped by both external experiences and internal reflections.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: Tell us a little about why a leader should think of themselves as a gardener. What qualities, from a gardener’s perspective, should they embody?
Nirupama Subramanian: I’m not really much of a gardener myself. I barely manage to keep a few plants alive! But I truly believe that gardeners perform a valuable act of nurturing. In fact, the word “nurture” is most often used for children and plants, and that idea seemed to hold the secret to the new kind of leadership we’re talking about.
When we looked at the process of gardening, we found it mirrors the process of leadership in many ways. First, you prepare the soil—this means creating the right environment, the right vision and values. That’s something a leader must do too. Second, you plant the seeds, —bringing in the right people, resources, and new ideas.
But planting isn’t enough. The next step is providing water and sunshine. This is where you coach, mentor, nurture, and guide your team.
And finally, just like in a garden, you have to pull out the weeds. You have to prune what doesn’t work. That could be bad habits, unproductive behaviours, or even systems that are holding people back.
A good gardener knows when and what to prune. And all this takes a special kind of mindset. That’s why we talk about the four core qualities that leaders and gardeners need.
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: Yes, the four essential qualities of a nurturing leader are Humility, Openness, Patience, and Empathy.
Humility is the ability to say, “I don’t know,” or “I made a mistake.” There’s a direct link between humility and success. Leaders who are humble tend to do well in the long run. The second is Openness or having the curiosity to explore beyond just your own space. We found that leaders who were open to asking questions and learning were not just better at business, but also better at nurturing people.
The third, which is often undervalued, is Patience. In today’s world of quick wins and quarter-to-quarter results, patience is rare. Of course, it doesn’t mean waiting endlessly—but it does mean treating some actions as investments rather than just costs. And finally, Empathy—the ability to step into someone else’s shoes, without necessarily wearing them. It’s not about taking on everyone’s burdens, but being able to understand, support, and still let people find their own way.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: How much of this nurturing do you believe is an innate trait, and how much of it can actually be learned and improved over time?
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: I think it’s a bit of both. What we found is that there are several factors that influence a person’s ability to nurture. One is values. Individual values shaped by how we grow up, the culture at home, and the environment at work. Upbringing, demographics, and personality traits also play a role in shaping how much and how well someone nurtures themselves and others. There is definitely some innateness to it. If you’re someone who is naturally humble, open, patient, and empathetic, you’re more likely to be a good nurturer.
But we also strongly believe that, like any other skill, nurturing can be developed. That’s where our AISH model comes in. It begins with Awareness—recognising that this is a skill you want to build, such as patience. The next step is Intention, where you consciously decide to develop that ability. Then comes Start Action, which involves taking small, consistent steps toward that goal. Finally, through repetition and commitment, these actions lead to Habit Creation, where the behavior becomes a natural part of who you are. So yes, while some people may have a natural tendency, it is absolutely possible for anyone to nurture this ability.
Nirupama Subramanian: One more layer people often add is: ‘Are women naturally more nurturing?’ We explored that too, and the answer is—not necessarily. It’s a common assumption, but in our research, we found no significant difference. Among the people we interviewed, there was a good mix and both men and women alike demonstrated nurturing qualities.
So, nurturing is not gender-specific or age-specific. It’s a skill. Anyone who genuinely wants to care for others and support their growth can develop the mindset, behaviours, and skills to become a nurturing leader.
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: A lot of the leaders we spoke to were very intentional about nurturing their physical well-being. They made a conscious effort to take care of their health, perhaps influenced by the post-COVID reality. Many of them also prioritised leisure and made sure to get some downtime.
However, when it came to mental and spiritual nurturing, we found the same level of intention was often missing. Mentally, leaders were learning, but mostly to meet the demands of their jobs. They weren’t always nurturing themselves in a deeper, more reflective sense.
As for the spiritual aspect—and I want to clarify, this has nothing to do with religion—we looked at it as connecting to one’s purpose, finding a sense of contribution, setting aside time for reflection, or even following a faith-based practice, whatever that may be. This dimension was often overlooked or not given as much importance.
When it came to nurturing others, we noticed a similar pattern. Leaders had the intention, but they weren’t always intentional in their actions. It often happened on the go—depending on the organisational culture, the industry, and day-to-day pressures. They meant well, but they didn’t always make time deliberately for it.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: Rajesh, anything that surprised you during your conversations with so many CEOs? Something you didn’t expect?
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: One question that always comes up is: ‘Do CEOs really have time to nurture themselves or others?’ Surprisingly, many of them did make time to nurture themselves—and that was encouraging to see. What stood out was how they did it. They found ways to weave it into their daily routines. For example, one leader said, “I walk around the office premises before lunch to get some movement during the day.” Another mentioned, “I take evening calls while walking.” They figured out small ways to integrate self-care into their schedules.
But here’s the contrast. While nurturing the self was handled quite methodically, even putting it into calendars and daily plans, nurturing others was more casual. It was more like, “Oh, I’ll do it when I get the time,” rather than carving out dedicated moments to coach, mentor, or inspire. The intention was there but the intentionality was often missing when it came to nurturing others.
Nirupama Subramanian: There was also a clear distinction between just being busy and being mindfully occupied. Many leaders we spoke to had found ways to be mindfully engaged in activities that were truly important to them.
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: One of the things we talk about in relation to mental well-being is how to minimize distractions. Often, when people ask, “How do you find time?”, the real answer is—you have to make time. And making time is all about making choices.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: Give us a few examples.
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: Different people manage it in different ways. While we often say time is finite, I personally believe that it’s not just time—energy is actually more finite. We only have so much energy, and we must choose how and where to spend it. That’s a fundamental mindset shift.
Now, coming to how leaders invest their time and energy—many of them have found simple yet effective ways to build nurturing practices into their daily routines. Some shared that, no matter how busy the day was, they made it a rule to put away their phones by 9 p.m. Not only was this to reduce screen time and avoid potential health concerns, but also to prevent the distractions of late-night messages and endless scrolling, which could disrupt their peace of mind and sleep. Others described meditation as non-negotiable—a quiet 30-minute session each morning that also meant staying off their phones during that time.
Both Nirupama and I, for instance, practice yoga. That one hour every morning becomes a sacred space, free from distractions like emails or notifications. It’s a moment to recentre and start the day with clarity. Reading was another practice many leaders aspired to do more of. While time was a constraint, some began setting aside a specific slot in the day just for reading, treating it as an important form of self-nurturing.
An interesting approach that several leaders found helpful was habit stacking. This means attaching a new habit to an existing one to make it easier to sustain. For example, someone who already has the habit of drinking morning tea might add a 10-minute journaling or reflection practice right after. With consistency, it becomes part of the natural rhythm of the day.
Nirupama Subramanian: One interesting pattern we observed was that almost every leader had a morning routine. That seemed to be the only time in the day when they had an hour completely to themselves, before the demands of the world set in.
Whether it was meditation, a walk, a run, yoga, or simply quiet time, the early morning was a sacred slot for many of them. They were very mindful about how they used that time, because it helped them prepare for what could often be a chaotic and unpredictable day.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: How do we measure this? We’re all very comfortable with numbers and we’ve been conditioned that way.
Nirupama Subramanian: When it comes to nurturing the self, we look at four aspects: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. For each of these, we’ve identified specific practices and behaviours that can be observed and measured.
Take mental well-being, for example. We focus on things like mindfulness, minimising distractions, making time to learn a new skill, and exposing yourself to new ideas or perspectives. For busy leaders, this can be challenging. The other dimensions—physical or emotional—sometimes happen more naturally or on the go. Leaders might pursue a hobby, take time off, or feel that because their job is mentally demanding, they’re already nurturing that aspect.
We also provide a set of best practices for each dimension. The important thing to note is that this is not a personality test. It’s about behaviours which can shift based on context. For example, if you’re a stable CEO today, your practices might work well. But if you switch roles or industries, your nurturing patterns may need to adapt too.
And that’s one of the main reasons we designed this framework:
Don’t wait for a heart attack before you start taking care of your physical health. Don’t wait to be laid off before you begin investing in your mental well-being. And don’t wait until retirement at 60 to start nurturing others, giving back to society, or exploring your spiritual path. These aspects of nurturing can and should begin at any stage of life.
We believe nurturing can and should happen at any age or stage of life. For some people, this model may serve as a wake-up call. For others, it could be reassuring and affirming that they’re already on the right track. And you can always come back after six months to see how you’re doing—if you’ve picked up a new practice or made progress in one area.
I found I was fairly strong on the mental aspect, because I enjoy learning and self-reflection. But I realised I needed to work more on the emotional front, like cultivating deeper connections and nurturing a strong passion. So I’ve started being more intentional about reaching out to people, setting up time to connect, and measuring how I’m doing in that area.
Similarly, if I feel that “inspiring others” is something I want to improve, we also have techniques for that. Our model allows you to benchmark these aspirations against what nurturing leaders actually do and then build your own plan around it.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: Rajesh, when it comes to the ‘Nurturing Others’ quotient, you identified four key categories—mentoring and coaching, inspiring, listening, and empowering. If I ask to rank these in order of importance, how would you do it?
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: For me, listening would definitely come first. It’s absolutely foundational to the other three. If you can truly listen, you become far more effective at mentoring and coaching. Even when it comes to inspiring others, listening helps you understand what drives them, what motivates them at a deeper level. And empowering someone also begins with listening and understanding what support they need and when to step back.
The second would probably be inspiring. Because at the end of the day, we’re not nurturing just for the sake of it. We also have a business agenda. We want people to become better versions of themselves so they can contribute meaningfully to the organization’s goals. Inspiring others helps ignite that potential.
I would place empowering next, because it naturally follows inspiration. When people are inspired, you want to give them the freedom and responsibility to act. Empowerment completes that cycle. And finally, mentoring and coaching would be fourth, not because it’s less important, but because it’s more of a method or a channel through which the other three can be practiced. It’s the tool that brings the rest to life.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: This is great from an individual perspective. But how would you suggest an organisation make use of a tool like this?
Nirupama Subramanian: Some of the leaders we spoke to have already started doing this in interesting ways. For instance, one organisation launched a fitness drive where employees had to complete 10,000 steps a day. It became part of the culture. Others have embedded coaching into their systems; employees are either expected to receive coaching or encouraged to reach out for mentoring. One of my clients even created a dedicated collaboration space in the office, specifically designed to promote empowerment. Meetings held in that space are clearly labelled as collaborative, reinforcing the intention behind the interaction.
So there are two levels at which organisations can work on this: one is at the behavioural level, and the other is at the practices and policy level. For example, what do you choose to reward? Often, organisations focus on individual health in terms of a medical check-up. But doing a more holistic organisational health check-up—that includes mental, emotional, and even spiritual well-being—can be far more impactful.
Tools like the Great Place to Work survey already exist. But you can go a step further and use something like the Nurturing Quotient (NQ) to explore how people are actually feeling and functioning. Are they happy? Are they satisfied? Are they thriving mentally and emotionally? Because when individuals are healthy and content, they’re more likely to bring their best selves to work.
Unfortunately, many organisations overlook this. There’s a strong focus on results. But if you support the individual in a more holistic way, it leads to better performance, higher engagement, and deeper loyalty. One of the leaders put it beautifully: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” That, I believe, is a powerful starting point for building a culture of nurturing within organizations.
Dr. Sathya Sriram: Rajesh, would you say that this concept is largely applicable to the C-suite or maybe the level just below—N minus one? Or do you see it being relevant across all levels of tenure? Do some dimensions apply more to junior employees, and others to more senior roles?
Rajesh Ramakrishnan: I believe this isn’t limited to just leaders. It’s relevant for everyone. We’ve used leaders, CEOs, and organisational settings as a contextual framework to explain the concept, but the principles of nurturing apply far beyond that. Think about a homemaker or a student. Everyone needs to nurture themselves, and everyone interacts with others in ways that require care, empathy, and support.
When we talk about nurturing others, it’s not restricted to direct reports or formal teams. It’s really about the broader ecosystem—the people you collaborate with, both inside and outside the organisation. Even if you’re an individual contributor, you’re still working with vendors, partners, or cross-functional colleagues. And often, the difference between someone who succeeds and someone who struggles lies in how well they engage with this ecosystem.
The concept is relevant across all levels, regardless of hierarchy or title. How can organisations take this forward? I believe it starts with recognising that when individuals are able to nurture themselves and others meaningfully, they lead happier, more holistic lives.
This well-being directly impacts not just personal productivity but also enhances the productivity of those around them, which ultimately feeds into overall organisational performance. So it’s not a soft skill in the traditional sense but a foundational one.
