Meet three unstoppable women who defied odds, challenged norms, and built extraordinary lives.

Should professional or personal life come first?

Colonel Shaifali
Commandant, 65 Coy ASC (Sup), Type ‘D’

My own comrades tell me, “We are so proud of the fact that you are commanding a unit.” Well, these compliments come to me not because of the uniform or the rank. They come to me because I am the one wearing it – a woman in uniform standing in this field. The idea of the inclusion and presence of women in the defence forces was very strange until a few years ago.

The first question I often get is, “Why did you choose to join the army?” The answer is simple and very obvious: I was born to do this. I belong here. There has never been a thought contrary to this. The concept of women in the forces is just a decade old. In 2003, there were very limited employment opportunities and benefits. But I still decided to join, and as planned, I cleared the army SSB test on the first attempt. But it was not a happy ending — I got rejected in the medicals. The hurt of being medically rejected wasn’t as much as the fear of losing my dream. My life seemed to depend on it. So I fought, I struggled, I cleared my medicals, and then I got into the army.

Beginning With a Bang

This was just the beginning of my new life. We were all supposed to leave the forces after five years. My journey began with a bang when I reported to Srinagar for my first posting. At that time, militancy was at its peak. I moved with my AK-47 through snow and water. Because of this, I became a very popular young leader. At the slightest delay or roadblock, I would just run to the place with my AK. The appreciation and acceptance I received were evident from the fact that during those moves, I would get hot drinks and hot food from my boys while moving from Srinagar to Leh. The terrain — which is now wonderfully smooth like butter — was completely inhospitable at that time.

After this, it was time to move to a new location, which I did, and it was also time to get married. For the first two years of our marriage, we stayed completely apart. That was the first acid test of our marriage. Now, it has been 20 years and counting. Every ceiling that I shattered made me a better leader — a stronger one.

As we grow in age and service, the challenges and the conflict between personal and professional life show up time and again. Women, by virtue of their gender, have a larger role to play in society, and I am very proud of that. Should professional or personal life come first? The answer lies with you, not with me. I know my challenges, and you know yours. I handle mine happily, successfully, proudly, and to my full contentment.

Army First, Everytime

For me, my organisation will always come first, every time. I shall stay 100% committed to my organisation — because I belong to an organisation that takes care of me and my family, even after I leave. There will never be a drop in my commitment. This commitment has not made me any less of a mother. Rather, it has made me a better leader, a better wife, a better mother, and a better daughter. Challenges stay — and so will we. When life gets harder, challenge yourself to be stronger.

We must thank those women who, a long time ago, decided to venture into fields where they were not allowed. They paved the path for us, and I am grateful to all of them. Now is the time for you to act. Whatever we do will impact future generations. We have to mind our steps very carefully, and we have to do it very well, so that in times to come, we don’t have to celebrate Women’s Day just to remind people of our existence and womanhood. I hope we reach that day soon.

Well, I succeeded when I joined the Defence Forces training academy. I succeeded when I did not quit after five years. I succeeded when I fought for my permanent commission. I succeeded when I faced the promotion board — when I picked up that one extra star and took over the command of my unit. Today, when you see me as a successful person, do you know how many failures I’ve had between those success points? Many more than the successes — in multiples. But I sustained. I refused to give up, simply because this is what I love to do. I am a fighter, and I will sustain. I will fight until I feel, “Yes, I have done enough for this life and for my nation.” I will fight till my last breath. I never tried to be different. There was no need. All I ever tried was to be myself. That’s it.

From Stage Fright to Spotlight

When I reached the Academy, I failed a public speaking test. My instructor looked at me in disgust and said, “You are the only lady officer who, in the entire history of the Officers Training Academy, has failed this test.” I said, “Thankfully, I made some history somewhere.” But I could not muster the courage or find the words to tell him that I had stage fright. I couldn’t approach the stage because my legs would tremble uncontrollably. But today, I’m standing and speaking right in front of you.

I ride a bike and run — but this is just a pastime activity; there is much more that we do. I run, I jog, I ride a cycle, I ride a Bullet. I race my car. I am very happy with how far I have come. But more than that, I am happy and proud of the distance I’ve travelled — from where I started. I come from a village where the only transport we saw was one bus, once a day. I am a government school-educated student. I believe that women can climb mountains, women can move mountains — and if women decide, they can be the mountain themselves. We all have it in us, and yet we often decide to share it, balance it, or sometimes give it up. I would like to urge you all to fulfill your responsibilities — towards yourself, your family, your society, your organisation, and above all, our nation — but in the reverse order of how I listed them.

Sporting Odds

Mona Agarwal
Paralympic Winner, Indian para shooter

My struggle started right from my birth. I was born as the third girl child to my mother, and that was my first struggle. No one accepted me because my mother already had two daughters, and the family wanted a boy — a male child. So they didn’t accept me.

After nine months, I contracted polio. The polio drops reacted negatively, and both my lower limbs were affected. Everyone in the family wondered how they would raise me. They didn’t know how to handle my condition or how they would prepare me to face the world.

My grandmother took the initiative and decided to train me. She was illiterate — she didn’t even know how to write her name. But she understood the world, how I would have to fight it, and how I would have to handle situations when I faced society. So she trained me at every step of my life. Whatever task she gave me, she never told me how to do it. She gave me the option to decide for myself. It was always my choice — how I would approach it. Whatever situation I faced, I had to choose my path. I had to get it done in my own way. I had to create my own way forward.

I had dreamed of becoming a doctor, but in my family, girls were not allowed to pursue higher studies. So I wasn’t allowed to study medicine. I pursued and completed my graduation.

Then my grandmother fell ill — she was in the last days of her life. I wondered what I would do after she was gone. I didn’t see anyone else in my family who could understand or support me like she did. I asked her to allow me to work — to go out and earn for myself, to be independent. Somehow, despite her memory loss and not recognizing others, she still recognized me. She was concerned about me even then. She asked my grandfather to allow me, and I started working.

Quitting Family, Embracing Sports

Later, due to family reasons, we moved to Nepal. I went too, but once again I was confined within my family. After about one and a half years, I decided I couldn’t stay like that anymore — I couldn’t remain dependent. I chose to leave. In 2010, I left my home, my parents, and my grandparents. They all said I wouldn’t be allowed to return. I said, “Okay, I’ll manage. Whatever I do, I’ll figure it out.” And I did. I earned for myself, did small jobs, and worked hard.

At one company, I got promoted three times in three years and reached the top level. But in 2015, I decided to quit. Every time I felt like I was in a comfort zone, I wanted to break it — to do something different, something made just for me. In 2016, I was introduced to sports. I began participating in athletics and powerlifting. I became a founding player for women’s sitting para-volleyball. During 2017 and 2018, I realised that it’s not just me — every girl faces challenges in choosing her career and educational path. For a girl with special needs, it’s even harder. We’re not allowed to choose freely. So I began training girls. I created teams in different states. We organised the first national championship for sitting para-volleyball. As a result, eight girls from Rajasthan got government jobs.

Then I got married and settled into family life. I had two kids. When my son was just two months old, my husband — who is also physically challenged — met with an accident and suffered a brain injury. The support I was receiving from him was gone.

Made for More

My in-laws and family said that now I should give up my dreams — focus only on my kids and family. I agreed for two or three months. But then I thought, “No — I am not made only for this. I am made for something more.”

I asked my mother-in-law to allow me to continue pursuing sports. It was also necessary for my kids — I had to be both mother and father to them, since my husband was no longer earning and we didn’t know when he would fully recover. My in-laws were hesitant. They said they couldn’t manage both kids. I said, “Somehow, you’ll have to manage — because I’m going to do this.”

Once again, I went against the odds and started my shooting career. I chose shooting as my sport. In December 2021, I started training — and within two and a half years, I became a Paralympic medallist.

From my childhood to this stage, I have always reminded myself: nothing will come easily to you. Others may get it easily, but you won’t. You have to earn it. You have to fight for it. And that’s exactly what I am doing — striving every single day. I know that whatever I dream of, whatever I want for myself — I will have to fight for it. And I will.

Own your path with conviction

Fathima Afshan
Mixed Martial Arts Champion

I’m a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) athlete—an eight-time undefeated national champion of India and a silver medallist at the World Championship.

I began this journey at the age of 19. I’m 24 now. Starting late, especially in a male-dominated sport like MMA, came with a wave of questions—not just from society, but from within me. I come from a conservative Muslim background, and for a woman to choose a combat sport was unthinkable. Everyone said, “You need to start young to reach the top.” But I told myself, “Better late than never.” I believed in myself when no one else did.  

Being a fighter is not just about punches and medals. It’s about pain, pressure, and pushing past your limits—mentally, physically, and emotionally. But I remind myself every day: “No excuses. You chose this. Own your path with conviction, because someone out there might just find their courage through you.”

I’m the eldest of three sisters. Growing up, the weight of expectations was heavy. People wanted a boy. Even my mother did. And I often wished I had been born a boy—just to make things easier. But as I stepped into womanhood, I realised: Thank God I’m a woman. That became my strength. That gave me purpose. And maybe that’s why I was made the eldest—to break barriers for my sisters, to be their example, to make their journey a little less uphill.

Stay True to Your Vision

To be a leader, especially as a woman, means standing alone sometimes. It means being misunderstood, doubted, even sidelined. But leadership isn’t about approval—it’s about staying true to your vision and marching ahead. I’m still becoming. Every day is a fight—not just in the ring, but in life.

Today, alongside my athletic career, I’m promoting MMA not just as a sport but as a life skill. Everyone—especially women—should have the tools for self-defence and confidence. Martial arts has given me character, clarity, and control over my own narrative. I’m also leading a movement against sexual abuse and harassment—because women need safer spaces, stronger voices, and real allies. We all do. It’s not just about women standing for women—it’s about all of us standing for each other. That’s what real empowerment is.

MMA is now recognised in the Asian Games, and I’ll be representing India. I’m working towards that national anthem moment. Keep me in your prayers.

Q & A

Anju Mary: Miss Mona, many people struggle with self-doubt when facing obstacles. What advice would you give to those who feel limited by their circumstances but still dream of achieving something big?

Mona Agarwal: My advice is simple: nothing worth having comes easy. No matter what field you’re in—whether it’s sports, administration, or anything else—you will face obstacles. But it’s your choice: will you allow those obstacles to block your path, or will you find the strength to overcome them? You must be strong, you must be positive, and you must trust yourself. If you believe in yourself, nothing can stop you from reaching your dreams. Just stay focussed, stay positive—and keep moving forward.

Anju Mary: Miss Fathima. What lessons from martial arts can be applied to leadership and personal growth in any field?

Fathima Afshan: Martial arts has taught me that we all have a fighter within us. Whether it’s life, leadership, or personal growth, you have to train yourself—mentally and physically. Listen to that inner voice that keeps you going, even when things are tough. Believe in yourself. Be a fighter. Be a believer. That mindset can take you far, no matter what field you’re in.

Anju Mary: Colonel Shaifali, in an era of evolving gender roles, what initiatives do you think are crucial to making the armed forces—and other male-dominated sectors—more welcoming to women leaders?

Colonel Shaifali: The very first expectation is the wrong one: don’t expect anything. Don’t wait for change—be the change. Most of us seek validation from others. We don’t need that. What we need is self-confidence. If you’ve taken the first step, don’t stop until you reach the last one. Because only when women reach the top can they create the change we talk about. So aim high, and stay the course.Anju Mary (Closing Remarks): If I were to sum up the spirit of today’s conversation, it would be this: Women—proudly be different. Persistently be consistent. Be a representative and a relentless ally for other women.
Because as a woman, you are not just the creator of your own destiny—you are shaping the future for many others and for generations to come. Let’s walk together toward a more empowered tomorrow.